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Numero Uno

hannah and iIt just seems like when I talk about my life I feel like Its not really me I’m talking about.. How can one person have so many different things going on at the same time.
Took Hannah to a therapist last night to talk about some issues we were having a hard time getting through. Hannah is definitely feeling like she is second fiddle around here. I sensed this but didn’t know how I could change it.
I know that when the little boys need me they get my attention almost immediately. Andrew, because he is relentless and very demanding when he wants something and its just easier to attend to him to get him to not act out…Noah, of course requires non-stop attention. We need to make sure he is still in our world and doesn’t sink back into the abyss that he finds so comforting.
The therapist, after delving into our history and life now, made a great observation about Hannah and I. She said, “you two were here first!”… ” you guys are the #1!” hannah1 Before Corey, before all of the changes that came with 2 new brothers and now their special needs. I realized how much Hannah’s life has changed over the past few years. Mostly for the better….but different. She went from being the youngest of 4 “the baby” who was my sole focus after my divorce to getting shuffled around with no choice as to where and when. I moved on to a new life. and an happier more fulfilled marriage. She resented this at first, but over time came to love Corey and now her little brothers.
By acknowledging all of these dynamics, we are now able to better understand each other and enjoy each other so much more.
I love my Hannah March, she is smart, beautiful, caring, funny and my little girl.

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