My 80-something MOM

momShe will still correct me and I still hide stuff from her….. Like when I got a micro-dermal piercing on my neck last year.
Its just not worth the explanation,,,
One day she saw my belly piercing when I happened to lift my arms and my shirt went up. She said, “so you have your naval pierced??” to which I could not deny. So she says “what is the purpose of it?” I could not give a strong argument other than, “because I wanted to” .
Sounds like a dialogue between a teenager and her mom, not a 40 something yr old and her mom…

I guess we never stop being MOM.. I have learned a lot from my mother about mothering. I learned that I will not judge my kids for their diversity. I will not be closed-minded. I will not scowl when they come home with a new embellishment when they are adults. I will love them no matter what. I will embrace their differences because after all they are a by product of me and if i don’t love them then I don’t love myself.

I also learned incredible strength from my mom.

I know my mom loves me and I do her. She’s just old school. She shows love by fixing or trying to fix things and people… I love by accepting and being that warm safe place to land.

That’s what I would want……

GET AWAY

Corey surprised me yesterday by saying, “I think the boys will be OK if we go somewhere over night”. Meaning that we would have Kelly, our nanny stay over. Well, I jumped on that! It’s been 3 years since we have been away alone. Frankly, I’m shocked he suggested it. He is so attached to the boys. 

So, off to Mohegan Sun in CT. I am beyond excited. Its a place that we have been too a bunch of times and its always romantic and relaxing. We don’t gamble but we make use of the indoor Atrium-Pool. There is a poolside bar that serves up “flash-floods”, the most delicious decadent frozen drink that Corey loves. So we will soak in a Jacuzzi and sip our drinks, or read, or nap. Then dinner will be at Michael Jordon’s Steakhouse. They have romantic booths that are behind a curtain. 

I am just looking forward to being away from all of the chaos that has been my daily routine. No babies in my bed, no negotiating with a 2 yr old for a diaper change.. NO diapers! 

Just He and I together alone…..because we really like eachother. ❤

HANNAH MARCH

Hannah came to me as such a breath of fresh air. Just what our family needed at the time.

The big kids whined when they heard I was pregnant. They thought it would mean sacrifice for them I suppose. Its amazing how wonderfully bonding a new sibling can be though!

Amanda immediately became Mommy #2, a role she had been practicing for about 11 years.. since Danny was born.

Hannah was and is a sweetie pie, born in a blizzard in March.

Her middle name was given to her by Danny. I think its a great middle name.

Hannah is wise beyond her years. She has had to overcome a lot of obstacles and adversity. She was just a little 7 year old when her world changed and she had to start sharing her time with me and her father, Juggling her books, and clothes to go back and forth. . It was alot for her to process at her age and I am so proud of how she handled herself.

I hate that she had to grow up so fast.

She is and has been my right hand for the past 2 1/2 years. She loves her little brothers unconditionally and is so loving and amazing with them.

I can count on her to jump in and help with a bath, bedtime story or changing a diaper. I know a lot of her friends don’t have as much responsibility but I know these lessons she is learning are making her a better, more balanced person.

One thing that I always found remarkable about Hannah was her ability to express herself. Even at a young age she could articulate the deepest and most sensitive feelings.

She is an honor student with a very creative side that she won’t acknowledge. She has drawn and painted pictures that are so amazing in their depth and perspective. I always wanted to nurture that in her but she fights it.

Hannah March. My little gift from God. Her name means “grace”

Johnny Kat

John Andrew was born just 17 months after his big brother Danny. He was definitely a surprise and a wonderful blessing at that. He was born 2 days after his due date and was a big, round, healthy boy.  We gave him the middle name of Andrew to honor my brother who had passed away during my pregnancy. The ironic thing is that John has alot of the same physical features. BIG round brown eyes, and dark hair. He looked a lot like my little brother when he was a baby. 

Johnny was an easy-going baby and would follow Amanda and Danny around everywhere. I remember him running alongside as Dan zipped up and down our block on his bike. He was often left in the dust…He never let that get him down. He always had a wonderful, cheerful disposition. 

John is a hard-working, very reliable sort. If he says he is going to do something, you can rest assured that he will, or it will nag at him if he can’t for reasons beyond his control. 

He can be self-defeating at times but I feel this comes from being the youngest for 9 yrs and second guessing himself. He is extremely intelligent and can do anything he sets his mind to. 

Some would say he was a “momma’s boy” back in the day. It was true. I thought he was my last baby and intended to keep him that way as long as I could. The other two had each other, he was mine…. That dynamic did not make him insecure, or needy in the least. At 18 yrs old he picked himself up and moved to San Diego  Ca. Just to spread his wings. He got a job transfer, and apartment, a bicycle and was completely self-sufficient. It was the best thing for him. It taught him the value of money and also of family. He became very mature during that year of self-discovery. 

He still kisses me every time he comes over and I love that. 

He is a smart, very funny, talented young man. 

I love him as a person not just because he is my flesh.

This song will always remind me of JOHNNY KAT 

………In the light of the sun Is there anyone?

Oh, it has begun Oh dear, you look so lost

Your eyes are red, the tears are shed

This world you must have crossed, you said…..

I think I need a sunrise

I’m tired of SunsetI hear it’s nice in the summer

Some snow would be nice, oh yeah………

 AUGUSTANA – BOSTON 

Daniel Evan

My first son came into this word fast and furious… Barely enough time to get to the hospital, and no time for an epidural. Uggg, worst labor ever, but at least it was quick. He started out causing me pain and when we got him home from the hospital it was weeks of colic. He always seemed to be cranky as a baby, then as a toddler we would have to “trick” him into being compliant, as in making him choose to do what we wanted him to do on his own somehow. He hated authority even as a baby. Funny how certain characteristics are bred.

Luckily he became mellower with age. As a young teen I remember him always wanted to be involved with what ever was going on in the house. He would help peel potatoes in the kitchen or shovel snow outside. He was a good boy that way. If I was running out to the store it was Dan who would volunteer to come and help me with the groceries.

Now he is a laid back, almost 24 yr old young man of whom I am very proud. He has overcome many obstacles and made some painful choices recently that he needed to preserve his own well-being.

We went through our ups and downs together as any parent can relate to raising a strong- minded boy.

I see great things for him in his future. All he needed was some support and a feeling of self-worth to move forward.

Its wonderful to have him living under my roof again after years of not seeing him. Im glad that he was able to lift himself up and stand up to some demons. Namely…his father.

His step-father, my wonderful husband, Corey has treated him like his own and is being the “father he didnt have to be”

“he didnt have to be”

…………..And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something’s missing
To a family
Lookin’ back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be

~Brad Paisley

SANDY

Bracing ourselves for the hurricane that they are calling “sandy” and FRANKENSTORM. It hasn’t hit us yet officially and yet roads are closed due to fallen trees, and the tides are so high that Port Jefferson Village has also been closed. Im praying for it to leave us unscathed by its wrath. I have 4 out of my 6 home. Amanda is in Florida of course, and now I just wait to see Johnny when he gets off of his shift at CVS. 

AMANDA LEE

Amanda Lee, what can I say about this beautiful creature that God blessed me with almost 26 years ago. She was and still is such a striking beauty. I could not get down the street with her in the stroller with out someone remarking about her sapphire-like blue eyes in contrast with her black hair and porcelain skin. One friends of mine used to call her Snow White.

She is as beautiful on the inside too, and I think that’s what I love most about her. I love the fact that she is so caring and self-less. She is a great wife, sister, daughter and friend.

I miss Amanda every day. She lives in Florida with her husband Joe. They have made a life down there and she is hard working.

I made a lot of mistakes with Amanda I’m not going to lie. She was my trial run at the mom thing. But I’m thinking she must be made from good stock because she is strong and she can do anything she sets her mind to.

I’m reminded of the words to an Alicia Keys song as I type this..

….When I’m breaking down

And I cant be found

and I start to get weak

cause no one knows me underneath these clothes

but I can fly , we can fly, Oh

Cause I am Superwoman

Yes i am

Even when I’m a mess

I still put on a vest with an S on my chest

Oh yes, I’m a Superwoman……